The following was sent to me by my dear old Mom. The claim is this came from actual Sunday school classes, but I'm suspicious since it involves the mythical little Johnny.
DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of
fishing when he was on the
"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms."
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how
powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power.
Can anybody tell me what it is?"
One child blurted out, "Aces!"
MOSES & THE
Nine-year-old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday
school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy
lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of
got to the
and all the people walked across safely. Then, he radioed
headquarters for reinforcements.
They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were
"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?"
his mother asked. "Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher
did, you'd never believe it!"
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD:
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the
most quoted passages in the Bible; Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to
learn the verse. Little Rick was excited about the task, but, he just couldn't
remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation,
Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly,
"The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know."
The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and
bowed his head, for a moment, before starting his sermon. One day, she asked
him why. "Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so
observant to of his messages, "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon."
"How come He doesn't do it?" she asked.
A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your
prayers for you each night? Very commendable. What does she say?"The
little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"
UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER
During the minister's prayer, one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of
the back pews.
She pinched him into silence and, after church, asked, "
whatever made you do such a thing ?"
whistle, And He just then did!"
TIME TO PRAY:
A pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night. "Yes
sir,"the boy replied."And, do you always say them in the morning,
too?" the pastor asked. "No sir," the boy replied. "I ain't
scared in the daytime."
BEWARE OF TRASH:
One particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us our 'trash baskets'
as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS?
When my daughter, Kelli, was 3, she and my son, Cody, would say their nightly
As most children do, we have to bless every family member, every friend,and
every animal (current and past).For several weeks, after we had finished the
nightly prayer, Kelli would say, "And all girls."
As this soon became part of her nightly routine,
to include this at the end, my curiosity got the best of me and I asked her,
"Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?
"Her response, "Because we always finish our prayers by saying
SAY A PRAYER:
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's
house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When
little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away."Johnny
wait until we say our prayer.""I don't have to," The boy
replied."Of course, you do," his mother insisted. "We say a
prayer, before eating,at our house."
That's our house," Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house and
she knows how to cook."